I think that we in the mental health community need to remember to be gentle with others. Most people can't comprehend constantly battling with your own thoughts and feelings. My experience today was awful and demeaning. *CLICK IMAGE FOR FULL BLOG POST*
This is going to be difficult to write because it's difficult stuff to talk about and my thoughts are all over the place, but here I go. I'm not doing well mentally. Physically I'm doing pretty well. Mentally I'm completely unstable. *CLICK IMAGE FOR FULL BLOG POST*
I started doing embroidery. Best manic purchase ever. I'm almost done with it. I just have to learn the satin stitch to finish her up. I got this kit from OddAnaStitch on Etsy *CLICK IMAGE FOR FULL BLOG POST*
Most people who have a basic understanding of bipolar disorder understand mania to be a "euphoric" state. This is NOT correct. Yes, sometimes we do feel euphoric and like superheroes that can't die which is super dangerous. But there is so much more to it than that. *CLICK IMAGE FOR FULL BLOG POST*
I start with everything I'm failing at. I tell her all about the dishes in the sink I'm not doing, the laundry I'm neglecting, how I should be on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor making sure it's spotless and smells perfect before Ben gets home. *CLICK IMAGE FOR FULL BLOG POST*
My therapist always tries to normalize my condition. She will say, "Everyone feels the things you do, you just feel them on extreme levels." And I guess she's right. But how am I supposed to explain to someone without bipolar how things like death impact me mentally and emotionally. Not just personal death. Any death. Seeing deer dead on the back of a truck. *CLICK IMAGE FOR FULL BLOG POST*
Since I can remember, I've wanted to be a mom. I admire all of the women in my family who have raised, and are currently raising, amazing children. Back when I actually had friends, during school I was always the "mom" of the group. I was always making sure everyone was safe and happy and healthy. Today, I call myself cat mom and dog mom. And after talking to Ben over the past couple of months, I think I am ready to actually be a mom. *CLICK FOR FULL BLOG POST*
Thursday, I had what I guess you would call a flare-up of my bipolar, perhaps manic, I'm not completely sure. I woke up extremely irritable. I woke up just not myself at all. I felt like a different person.
Today I was able to speak in church about the importance of suicide awareness and prevention. Please take a listen.