Pushing Through It

Lately I’ve been struggling. I think with depression but also extreme mood swings. We finished moving into our new home and it’s lovely. Everyone has been so kind and helpful, especially our parents. Daisy adores all the new space and big windows that she can look out of.

The past couple of days I’ve mostly stayed in bed. I’ve been sleeping a lot. I’m not sure if I’m depressed or exhausted or both. It’s extremely frustrating because there is so much I should be doing and helping with but I just can’t do it.

I wouldn’t say I’m suicidal at this point but I’m definitely in a low mood most of the time with quick short bursts of happy. I’ll get about 5 minutes where I feel great then I’m back to being really low. I don’t want to be bipolar, but it’s part of who I am.

What’s helping me push through? Family, as always. I got the chance to spend some time with my nieces and nephew for a bit over the weekend and we played tag. That really helped me feel better. Sometimes I think it would be better if I wasn’t here but then I spend time with those kids and they remind me why I’m here. I’m thankful for family. I’m thankful I’m still here. I’m a little scared but I am pushing through it.

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