Those Days When I Can’t Move

As many of you already know, I talk to my cat. A lot. In fact, if I ever do write a book it’s probably going to be addressed to my cat. It’s just a lot easier for me to talk to Daisy. She doesn’t judge me. She helps me know when to chill and when to get up and move. She pushes me and helps me. You might think that’s crazy. You might have a pet who does this for you and realize I’m not crazy. Either way, today I had a nice chat with Daisy.

I sat on the couch with her and ate my lovely adult lunch of spaghettiOs with meatballs. I told her how her Dad got her a new house and how soon we will have to move. She continued to bathe herself so I know she is pretty excited about having more space to run around. I told her how nervous I am. I said, “Daisy, your Dad is like the chillest man on the planet and you’re the chillest cat so how do I fit into all of this?” She rolled over to sleep. I knew she was telling me that I was being crazy and overthinking so I changed the subject.

I told her about my dog walks today. She closed her eyes because she really doesn’t care about me being around other animals except for her. So I changed the subject again. I asked her, “Daisy, what is wrong with me? Why do I have these days where I desperately want to do things but I can’t move. I can’t make myself move. I just sit here in silence.” She stretched and continued to try and get comfortable for her nap. This I knew meant that she was saying, “Mom, you’re bipolar. You’re probably a little depressed. You’re totally off meds and your body is super confused because you keep trying to make a baby.” I thought about it for a while and I knew she was right.

I think most of us have days like this, even the mentally stable. Days where even the things we enjoy doing seem unappealing. Sitting in silence is too dangerous for me though. If I sit too long my thoughts will take over and go to terrible places. But Daisy just slept next to me. She’s not big on affection but she let me pet her for a bit as she slept. I asked her what her secret was, she simply continued to sleep. So I sat next to her and listened to her breathing for a while.

Days like this are frustrating and scary for me, the days where I can’t move. But luckily, I have my cat to talk to so hopefully sometime soon she will wake up from her nap and we can both try to move together.

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